Pray for A Jewish Mother in an American Jail - Op-Eds - Israel National News

Op-Ed: Pray for A Jewish Mother in an American Jail

Published: Thursday, November 10, 2011 4:40 PM

Valerie Carlton, a Jewish woman who married a non-Jew who became violently abusive, has been kept in solitary in a US prison as her husband tries to get her extradited to where she will not survive.

Prof. Phyllis Chesler

Prof. Phyllis Chesler is the author of fifteen books, including Women and Madness (Doubleday, 1972), The Death of Feminism: What's Next in the Struggle for Women's Freedom (Palgrave Macmillan, 2005) and most recently, The New Anti-Semitism. She is the co-founder of the Association for Women in Psychology and the National Women's Health Network.

► More from this writer

A Jewish mother is weeping, not in Ramah, but in an American jail. . On November 10, 2011, she will learn whether a judge will extradite her from Monsey, New York where, according to one of her lawyers, Michael Ettinger, she “faces probable death” in a private for-profit Detention Center in Harford County, Maryland.

This Jewish mother--her name is Valerie (“Serach”) Carlton, was imprisoned for 13 months in that Harford County Detention Center where, unbelievably, she was kept in solitary confinement and tortured in further ways. Why? Because she loves and wanted to protect her young daughter and because she dared to practice her Judaism openly.

Is such a violation of a woman’s civil and religious rights possible in America? Can such a hate crime be legal? Can such a Kafkaesque situation take place in the home of the free and the land of the brave?

Sadly, the answer to all three questions is yes.

Valerie married a man who battered her, abused their young child, and then vowed to destroy her. According to Valerie’s advocates, Russell Carlton turned out to be a vicious psychopath who used his Christian Evangelical and white supremacist brand of Christianity (and his powerful, local connections) to try and “kill the Jew” who dared to return to her Jewish roots, light Sabbath candles, and “practice Judaism” with her daughter.

According to her lawyers and advocates, “both the search warrant and the charging document for the criminal charges against Ms. Carlton stated that she was an Orthodox Jew who practiced Jewish customs with her daughter whenever they were together.”

As if this is a crime.

Although he was the abuser, he falsely accused her of having sexually abused their daughter. These charges were never substantiated but nevertheless, the allegations got her locked up. The other prisoners were carefully told she had sexually abused children and, because prisoners are notoriously cruel to pedophiles, the sheriff put her in isolation “for her own good.”

This is where the guards tried to “break” her, to get her to admit she was “insane,” and to give up full custody, maybe even parental rights, to her child.

Neither the court nor the sheriff—not even the Governor of the State—chose to intervene to spare Valerie’s suffering, not even when nationally recognized experts strongly recommended that she be freed and reunited with her child. To date, Valerie has not seen her daughter for 2 1/2 years.

Worse: Once the authorities realized they would have to release her, they had a guard beat her up—but the guard falsely claimed that she had attacked him; he brought charges. (A video may be viewed at her website www.valeriecarlton.com which shows what really happened). Her jailors warned her that she would soon be re-arrested.

Valerie fled the area and relocated to Monsey, New York.

Other prisoners have died in the Harford County Detention Center. It is known for its “accidental” taser deaths.

But recently, when Valerie’s mother, the maternal grandmother, tried to exercise her visitation rights, Valerie’s husband feared that Valerie might somehow be allowed to see her own daughter. To prevent this, he managed to convince federal marshals to take her from Monsey to New City, in Rockland County, to be held pending a hearing on her extradition back to Maryland.

The charge? She assaulted the guard! Once her ex-husband learned she had been re-arrested, he “immediately consented to the grandmother’s visitation.”

Valerie now faces a potential sentence of up to ten years for a beating she did not commit; in a jail that had no legal right to keep her; where she was literally tortured; and where (get ready for this next shocking bit of news), her “baby son, wrongfully removed from her, ultimately perished through the County’s malfeasance.”

Yes, they removed her still breast-feeding son from her and put him in state care where he….just died. And they did not allow a rabbi to break the news to her. Not even a psychologist was allowed in to tell her. Her punishers literally tied her down and told her that her son was dead, waiting to see if she would “break.”

Michael Ettinger described her persecutors, including her ex-husband, as “malevolent people who have no problem putting an innocent women in jail in order to destroy her.”

This is a Jewish mother who has known more than a mountain of sorrow, a Jewish mother who faces certain barbaric treatment if she is extradited. Other prisoners have died in the Harford County Detention Center. It is known for its “accidental” taser deaths.

As the author of Mothers on Trial. The Battle for Children and Custody, (now in a new and updated 25th anniversary edition), I have known many similar cases. Yes, in America. However, none are as terrible as this one.

Rabbi Sheftel Meir Neuberger of Baltimore, Maryland, has written a letter on Valerie’s behalf. He confirms that she is a “Baalas Teshuva who has valiantly tried to maintain her adherence to Torah and Mitzvos under very difficult circumstances. She was subjected to very cruel and unusual incarceration…she was abused and physically tortured.

"She moved to the Monsey area….Should she be returned to Harford County her life is clearly in danger. Anyone who can participate in the demonstration on her behalf at the upcoming extradition hearing may be helpful in saving the life of a Bas Yisroel who is being falsely accused and will suffer serious life threatening consequences should she be returned to Harford County.”

Thursday, a demonstration is planned outside the Rockland County courthouse, 1 South Main Street, New City, NY, at 9am. The hearing is set for 9:30am.

Please pray for her. Send money for her continued defense and legal actions. Be there (or send those you know in Monsey) to be there for Valerie at the courthouse.

Note: The information contained in this article was obtained from one of her lawyers and supporters, Michael Ettinger and from her website.

Pray for A Jewish Mother in an American Jail - Op-Eds - Israel National News

UNIVERSAL TORAH: CHAYEY SARAH

UNIVERSAL TORAH: CHAYEY SARAH

By Rabbi Avraham Greenbaum

Torah Reading: CHAYEY SARAH Gen. 23:1-25:18. Haftara I Kings 1, 1-31

THE LIFE OF SARAH

The parshah opens with LIFE -- the LIFE of Sarah -- even though it goes on to speak of her death, and later that of Abraham (Gen. 25:8). This is because it is the very limit that death puts upon life that makes every year of life and every day so precious. "Teach us to count our days" (Psalms 90:12). What gives true value to each day is not the material pleasures enjoyed or the wealth amassed but the eternal goodness attained through the mitzvos one accomplishes each day, each minute.

In the words of Rabbi Nathan of Breslov in his Introduction to Chayey Moharan, the Life of Rabbi Nachman: "There are countless gradations in the life and vitality found in the world. Real life is the life of true wisdom, as it is written: 'Wisdom gives life to those who possess it' (Eccl. 712). And the essence of wisdom is to labor and endeavor to know and acknowledge G-d, who is the Life of life. The closer one comes to God, the more his life is genuine life."

"And the years of the life of Sarah." (Gen. 23:1)

"And these are the days of the years of the life of Abraham that he lived." (ibid. 25:87).

* * *

BURIAL

"And the sons of Ches answered Abraham saying to him. No man among us would withhold his grave from you." (Gen. 23:5-6).

No one in the world is exempt from death. All Adam's children must pay the price of his sin by tasting death. Thus even the Canaanite children of Ches (who were later to prove bitter enemies of Abraham's descendants) were forced to take a share in the mourning for Sarah. ISH MIMENU -- "No man among us." The words imply an awareness that all mankind lives under the shadow of death (ARI).

Burial is one of several possible ways of removing the bodies of our dead from within our midst. Removal of the dead from the midst of the living serves the living, to whom the presence of a decomposing corpse is too offensive and humiliating a reminder of their own mortality. But dead bodies could be burned or disposed of otherwise: Why bury them?

The answer is that burial benefits the dead as well. "For you are dust and to the dust you will return" (Gen. 3:19). Burial brings KAPARA, atonement, to the dead person for the sins committed in this world through the body. Being lowered into the earth after a lifetime of proud living above it is the deepest humiliation. The concealment of the person's physical remains beneath the earth, where they decompose and are reabsorbed into the elements, signifies the concealment and atonement of his sins. Eventually everything is merged back into unity and even the sins are turned into merits.

An integral aspect of the honor accorded to the dead through burial is that the atonement is accomplished in a concealed manner, thereby covering and hiding the shame of the dead. "And he shall cover it in the earth" (Leviticus 17:13)

Adam himself was buried in the earth: according to tradition, Adam and Eve were buried in the very Cave of Machpelah in which Abraham buried Sarah (Zohar VAYERA on the verse "And Abraham ran to the bull" Gen. 18:7). Burial of the dead is an integral part of the heritage of the children of Shem and Japheth -- their reward for the modesty they showed when they concealed their father Noah's nakedness after he became drunk (Gen. 9:21ff.). Rashi comments (ad loc.) that in the merit of this act, Shem earned for his children the modest body covering of the Tallis with its Tzitzis (fringes, Numbers 15:38), while Japheth earned burial for his descendants, the armies of Gog who are to be buried after falling in the war of Gog and Magog (Ezekiel 39:11). [Since Japheth earned burial for his descendants, how much more so did Shem! Significantly, it is customary to bury Jewish men in their Tallis.]

* * *

ACQUISITION & OWNERSHIP

Abraham found it sufficient to live in tents for his whole life -- he was fully aware that he was but a "visitor and a resident" (Gen. 23:4) on this earth. Only when Sarah died did Abraham find it necessary to acquire permanent accommodation -- a final resting place for the body while the soul goes on to the life eternal. Thus Abraham teaches us that our most important acquisitions in this world are not the material houses on which most people lavish so much money and effort for their temporary stay here. Rather, our truest acquisitions are those that will truly serve us in the eternal life. Buying a burial plot is a SEGULAH for long life!

Abraham's acquisition of the Field and the cave of Machpelah from Ephron the Hittite is the first case of the acquisition of land in the Torah. [Eve "acquired" a child, Cain, naming him after the acquisition: "I have acquired (KANISI) a man with G-d", Gen. 4:1]. Fundamental lessons about KINYAN, acquisition or ownership, are derived from the account in our parshah of Abraham's purchase of land from Ephron, the classic example of how business dealings between the Children of Noah are to be characterized by the rule of law and integrity in accordance with the Seventh Universal Law. The negotiations and the transaction were carried out with perfect "transparency". The ears of the Children of Ches heard everything and their eyes saw it all (Gen. 23 vv. 10, 13; 18 etc.) Abraham did not ask for any bargains and he did not receive any. He paid the full price with silver. [Money is soul: people put their very soul into the acquisition of the liquid asset known as KESEF. KESEF is soul, for soul is desire: KISUFIN.]

Earlier in the story of Abraham, when Malki-tzedek (= Shem) king of Shalem (=Jerusalem) had come out to greet him after he rescued Lot from the Four Kings [Parshas LECH LECHA], Malki-tzedek blessed Abraham in the name of " the Supreme G-d, OWNER of Heaven and Earth" (Gen. 14:19). Abraham swore by the same G-d -- "owner of Heaven and Earth (ibid. 22).

Only when man acknowledges that G-d owns everything can man be said to own anything -- "for if you lack DA'AS (knowledge), what have you acquired?" [KINYAH requires DAAS.] Everything belongs to G-d: "The earth is the Lord's and all it's fullness" (Psalms 24:1). When man understands this and blesses G-d before he takes anything from this world, then G-d brings man to his true glory. G-d gives the world to man and allows him to own it: "And He has given the earth to the children of Adam" (ibid. 115:16).

Although Ephron had been the titular owner of the land, it had meant nothing to him -- it was dark and concealed -- because he did not possess this knowledge. Since Abraham had the knowledge, when he purchased the land it became truly his and associated with his name for ever: "And the field of Ephron stood." -- ("It had TEKUMAH, an upstanding" -- Rashi) -- ". to Abraham as an ACQUISITION" (Gen. 23:17-18).

* * *

FAMILY PURITY

Everyone knows that G-d rules over the heavens -- even the nearest star is way beyond man's reach. What is concealed from many people is that G-d rules over the earth and over every detail of what happens here. This was what Abraham came into the world to teach.

Rashi tells us (commenting on why Abraham, speaking to Eliezer, invoked "HaShem, the G-d of the heavens" but did not mention "and of earth" -- Gen. 24:7): "Abraham told Eliezer that now He is G-d 'of the heavens AND the earth' because I have made this phrase habitual on people's lips. But when He took me from the house of my father, He was 'G-d of the heavens' but not 'G-d of the earth' because people in the world did not recognize Him and His name was not familiar on the earth".

Abraham's could not allow his work to end with him. It was an integral part of his mission to have a worthy successor who would in turn have a worthy successor to ensure that the knowledge of G-d would never again be hidden from the world.

As a "Prince of G-d" (Gen. 23:6) and leaof the progeny of Shem, Abraham could not but be discriminating about the family that would provide the appropriate wife for his son and successor. Contrary to the widely held fallacy that people of any and every family and national backgrounds are all "equal", Abraham was unwilling to make a family alliance with any other than his own family back in Padan Aram. This was where they had stayed when Abraham went on his journey of destiny to the Land of Canaan.

Abraham was unwilling to make a family alliance with the Canaanites, for Canaan, son of Ham, was under the curse of Noah. On the other hand, Abraham could not allow his son Isaac to return to Padan Aram even for the sake of being married. This would have undermined the whole purpose of Abraham's departure from that "Old World". Padan Aram (with it's high priest, Laban = Bilaam, brain of all the forces of evil, the KELIPOS) was the old World of Devastation (OLAM HATOHU, Breaking of the Vessels), whereas Abraham had gone to turn the Land of Canaan in to the Land of ISRAEL (Yeshurun, Yosher) in order to create OLAM HATIKUN, the world of repair and healing.

Accordingly Abraham sent his servant Eliezer to Padan Aram to redeem the spark of TIKUN -- Rebecca -- from the World of Devastation, Padan Aram, a place characterized by DECEPTION.

* * *

ELIEZER'S MISSION

It is significant that Eliezer is the one sent on this mission. Eliezer, son of Nimrod, son of Kush, eldest son of the accursed Ham) was himself an example of a rescued spark. By attaching himself to Abraham, Eliezer himself became "blessed" -- Laban greets him as "Blessed of HaShem" (Gen. 24"31). [Just how blessed this attachment proved to Eliezer's soul is seen in the fact that he was later incarnated as Kalev son of Yephuneh -- who had a particular attachment to Hevron and the patriarchs -- see Rashi on Numbers 13:22, as Benayah ben Yehoyada in the time of King Solomon and as Shemayah and Avtaliyon, leaders in the early rabbinic period and both converts. ARI.]

The Torah devotes gives much space to the account of Eliezer's journey to Padan Aram because witnessing closely Abraham's devoted servant in action, we learn deep lessons about Abraham and his mission in the world.

Eliezer goes first to the well, because, as "that Damascan" (Gen. 15:2) -- DAMASEK -- Eliezer's task was to be "Doleh u-MaSHKeh miToras Rabo", drawing and giving out to drink from the waters of the Torah of his master: "Ho, everyone that is thirsty, come for water!" (Isaiah 55:1). Deeply embedded in the account of Eliezer's mission is the concept of the DLI ("the bucket = Aquarius) and the drawing of the waters of spirituality into the world for all to drink. [Bney Issaschar, Shevat.]

The first thing Eliezer does at the well is to pray to G-d for help. He asks G-d to make events happen in a way that will enable the kindness of Abraham to be handed down to future generations. Eliezer's request to G-d to make events happen this way is founded upon the belief -- received from Abraham -- that He is "G-d of earth" and not only "G-d in heaven." G-d is in complete control of what "happens" on earth, down to the last detail. It is no "coincidence" that Rebecca steps out to "draw water from the well" just as Eliezer completes his prayer.

The test Eliezer devises for the candidate suited to marry Isaac and bring Abraham's kindness to the world is a test of CHARACTER. What counts is not what people say (like Ephron, who said a lot but did hardly anything.) What counts is what they actually DO.

Rebecca does MORE than Eliezer asks her. Not only does she want to give him to drink. She wants to perform kindness, GOMEL Chessed, to the very camels, GAMALIM. She has the expansive quality of CHESSED characteristic of the true family of Abraham: she was fitted for the role of consort to the new Prince of G-d.

The loss of one member of the family, Sarah, who went into the grave, HaKeVeR, opens the way for the entry of a new member to build the family: RiVKaH. The death of the old generation and their descent into HaKeVeR turns out to be HaBoKeR, a new morning, a new day!

* * *

THE FIELD BLESSED BY G-D

Rebecca's first sight of Isaac was when "Isaac went out to meditate in the field towards the evening" (Gen. 24:63). This was the field of submission, the site where Isaac had been bound on Mount Moriah. Isaac turned his submission into a daily devotion: the devotion of set prayer and meditation.

Prayer is where we make Him "G-d of the earth", involving Him in all our daily affairs and activities and shining His light into the innermost depths of our hearts.

The Talmud tells us that the three founding fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, were all engaged in laying the foundations for the Temple on this site. Each made his own unique contribution -- and conceived it in a different way: Abraham as a "Mountain"; Isaac as a "Field" and Jacob as a "House". And it is as a "House" that it is destined to be built in Jerusalem in the near future (Pesachim 88a)

At first, attachment to G-d is like a high mountain. To scale the mountain, we must discipline ourselves like oxen to plough daily and turn the mountain into a cultivated field. This is the work of Isaac. Finally we come to the stage where spirituality is part of our lives and comes into our very homes, houses, domestic and family affairs (see Likutey Moharan I:10). This is the work of Jacob, to whom we will be introduced in next week's parshah, and whose garments had the fragrance of the "field that G-d has blessed" (parshas Toldos, Gen. 27:27).

Shabbat Shalom!

Avraham Yehoshua Greenbaum

--
AZAMRA INSTITUTE
PO Box 50037 Jerusalem 91500 Israel
Website: www.azamra.org